LCS Predictions

This is purely speculative, even though I'm probably right...

St Louis v. Milwaukee

Hooray intense playoff baseball.

Division rivals split the season series with metrics giving a slight edge to Milwaukee.  Both have won an away series so this is as close to pick'em as you can get. Momentum, talent... draw.   This teams hate each other.  It will be great playoff baseball.  The only other thing I can guarantee is that you will hear about the battle of prospective FA 1Bs Prince and Albert more than you care for. 

However, I had a chance to catch up with Milwaukee clubhouse insider Tony Gumbo, and he thinks the Brew Crew have the pitching and talent to win the 'ship. AHHHHHH, I'll have to agree.

Brewers in 6.

Detroit v. Texas

The only Texas Ranger who Verlander won't strike out.

AL CY Young lock Justin Verlander will show his voters they made the right choice in his starts.  We all know that the Rangers bats are dangerous; but we also learned last year that they can be outslugged and out pitched in the playoffs (see "I want to rage, right now.").  But, because we dig deeper around here, the Rangers may have an advantage unrealized at first glance.  The Tigers talented, righty-heavy rotation was enough to give them the edge over the Yankees, but the Rangers' lineup murders right handed pitching to the tune of a major league leading 0.283 BA (the Yankees hit .255 against righties).  That's hard to ignore.

But even harder to ignore is that there is a place called Detroit, Texas.  Ya, you should know by now to keep that helmet strapped on while reading my shit.  Anyways, I think that essentialy gives the Tigers multiple homefield advantages.  I gotta go with my gut.  Rangers get Fisted.

Detroit in 5.

An all Midwest World Series, why not... Cleveland sports fans can't hope for much more.

I Guess When You Call Yourself "The Big D", You Should Expect Some Choking...

Looks like the Lions are real deal Holyfield.

I Wouldn't Be Surprised If...

Here are a couple predictions for the weekend's activities:

1. Alabama beats Florida like they stole something.  Alabama's defense is big, fast and mean.  Nick Saban's boys don't play and Florida hasn't seen anything like them this year.  Rainey and Demps won't be able to run away from these guys like they did the first couple weeks of the year.  Roll Tide, and roll they shall.
2. The Brewers take out the brooms for the  Diamondbacks.  Ian Kennedy and Hudson are studs, but unfortunately for the Diamondbacks they are being pitched in Milwaukee.  Milwaukee played .700 ball at home this year, and Grienke is 11-0 with a ERA of 3.13 in the land of beer.  At least Bossman Sr. and Mama Upton can say they had both kids in the playoffs...
3. Which brings me to my next prediction.  BJ's fortune will be the exact opposite of baby bro's.  The Rays on absolutely on fire and to rub their asses in the face of the MLB they threw a rookie on the mound in Game 1 of the ALDS.  Matt Moore did nothing but throw 7 innings of 2 hit ball and shut down one of the best offenses in the AL.  Big Game James v. Harrison Game 2 and David Price v Huey Lewis for the sweep.
4. Cam goes H.A.M.  There is no scientific rationale for this, but he's good, ask Oregon.
5. Pats punish the Raiders for the Bills transgressions.  The Dark Lord and Brady don't like losing.  They left the door open and got beat.  Look for Run DMC and the Raiders to go down swinging, but go down nonetheless.
6. After a 4 TD blowout on Monday night, the Colts will give a call to a certain dick-texting, lawn-mowing Wrangler model.  My guess is the Colts know that Kerry Collins stubble, while serviceable, wasn't cutting it and Curtis Painter is better suited for Dexter's Laboratory cameos.

Fister... I hardly know her!

I'm feeling charitable tonight so I'll throw in something else for free.  The "suspension" of Yankees-Tigers game one is further proof that the MLB is rigged.  I'm still trying to forget that September occurred, for obvious reasons, and then Selig gives me this shit. The obvious decision was to restart a new game tomorrow from scratch, essentially tossing the Tiger's Verlander advantage out the window... no?  Instead, Fister and Nova take over for the aces in the second inning and the Tigers gotta wait until a game five to use the AL Cy Young favorite.

Week 4 Prediction

WVU-LSU

I'm going out on a limb and gonna say that Nike wasn't paying attention during uniform selection.  It looks like Big Bird snuck into the locker rooms and wiped his spunk all over the place.

Foghorn = LSU. Yosemite = WVU.

On a more positive note, the limited intelligence of WVU and LSU fans may have something to do with it.  Allow me a short narrative between the two parties:


LSU fan: What team are you rootin fuh boy?
WVU fan: I reckon im fer the team in yeller.
LSU fan: Waddya know, I'm rootin fuh da boys in yelluh too.
WVU fun: I'll tip some 'shine to dat.

No more fan violence.  I see you Nike, touché.


*Side note: Why do non-SEC teams even schedule them on their out of conference schedules.  What major-conference coach in their right mind looks at the schedule and says, "You know what would do wonders for our bowl game chances, a beating in week three."

Straight Cash Homie: Week 3 Picks

So 9-5 so far this year on picks... lets see we can continue our roll.  Except this time we are picking something from every game.

San Francisco (+2.5) at Cincinnatti- The Red Headed Rifle will meet Patrick Willis this weekend... and will meet him frequently.  Bungles haven't faced a defense like this yet...

New England vs Buffalo Over 53.5- We think both teams break 30, NE possibly 40+.

Houston at New Orleans Over 51.5- High octane offenses meet lockout defenses.

New York Giants (+8.5) at Philadelphia- Eli Manning looks like a pile of shit and Manningham is out, but I don't think Vick lasts the game.  They will be blitzing all day and this game should be surprisingly low scoring.  Plus the Giants D should never really get tired since... well ya know...

Justin Tuck say: You a sneaky boy Deon

Miami (+2) at Cleveland- Must win for Miami... plus they win all their games on the road so....

Denver at Tennessee- No one really cares about this game so I'm not going to bother betting on it.


Detroit (-4.5) at Minnesota

Nom Nom Nom

Jacksonville at Carolina (-4.5)- If Calvin Johnson is Megatron... what does that make Cam Cam?

Kansas City at San Diego (-14)- Until KC scores more than 3, we are taking the other team.

New York Jets at Oakland Over 42- Just have a feeling...

Atlanta (pk) at Tampa Bay- TB should be 0-2... Falcons are jacked up after a big win last weekend.

Arizona (-3.5) at Seattle- Seattle 12th man gets nothing to cheer about tomorrow...

Green Bay (-4.5) at Chicago- Packers steam roll Chi tomorrow... Quitler gets knocked out of the game

Man... When I grow up I wanted to be like Aaron Rodgers...

Pittsburgh (-11.5) at Indy- THE SILVERBACKKK

"I Just Ruined Somebody's Fantasy Football Season.. and Quite Possibly Their Entire Year" Award

This week's winner, Jamaal Charles, won in a land slide.

Today it is estimated over 19 million people compete in public and private fantasy football leagues. (Thank you wikipedia).  An average person plays in an 8-14 team league, so lets say 10 just for simple math.


So, Jamaal Charles was owned in 100% of ESPN, CBS, and Yahoo leagues, so it is fair to assume that he is owned in every league around the world right?  That means that Jamaal Charles, after deciding to slip on a first down marker, is directly responsible for ruining 1.9 million people's week/season/year (Not counting those with more than 1 team!).


So heres to you Jamaal!  Sit down and have a cold one!  I hope you did not own yourself in your fantasy league, because that means you are now on the worst fantasy team AND the Chiefs...  

I was out meditating in a cave for the past year...

Until I heard this strange sound that immediately distracted me from my deep state of focus...

The Dalai Lamo is BACK baby

Don't Call It A Comeback

I was torn... that dope song from FIFA or LL Cool J. I just got pumped up. We are back. I got knocked down, (side note: fuck law school) but I'm back, better than ever. Drew Brees post shoulder surgery.